The Oscars are just around the corner. That means the big wigs at the movie studios are racing around trying to get voters to see their film, remember it and then actually vote for it. The Weinsteins are adept at this kind of thing which is why cute little films like “Shakespeare in Love” and this years “Silver Linings Play Book” swept nominations. It is run a lot like a political campaign – it’s all about who you know, how well you market yourself, and face time. It’s a joke.

The idea that a film gets nominated because it is good is laughable and outdated. It is a popularity contest, pure and simple. How many nominations are there for Best Picture now, like twenty? How is that getting the cream of the crop? And then there is all the talk about snubs. Ugh. Even I can figure this out. It’s just math. There are 9 Best Picture Nominations, and there are only 5 spots for Best Director. So, using simple math I can conclude that there isn’t enough room on the roster for each director of a BP nom to have a spot. The Academy induced its own snubs.

So here I will give you the breakdown of what WILL win, what SHOULD win, and even (when appropriate) what movie was not even nominated that should have been. Ready? The envelope please!

BEST PICTURE: First off, I saw Silver Linings Play Book and… yeah. Really? This? Sure it was cute and all, but Oscar worthy? Certainly not. But I guess I still remember a time when this award was prestigious. Back before Enimem had one. Anyway, just because a film isn’t very good doesn’t mean it won’t win. Remember those Weinsteins? Well, they have been pushing for that little movie to win… and it just might. What will win? Lincoln. The Weinsteins might be good, but DDL is better. This movie was a triumph and deserves the big prize. I just hope Academy voters didn’t give the ballot to their 25-year-old live at home daughter. The surprise here might be ‘Argo’. What should win? Lincoln. I would LOVE to see D’Jango Unchained take the prize, but let’s get real. WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN NOMINATED? The Master. It is far and away a better  film than Silver Linings and Le Mis. And Argo.

BEST ACTOR: Easy. No problem. Who will win? Who should win? Daniel Day-Lewis. No contest. WHO SHOULD HAVE BEEN NOMINATED? Doesn’t matter. DANIEL. DAY. LEWIS.

BEST ACTRESS: Have you seen this list? How sad! There were so many great female performances out there, how did we get stuck with these? Naomi Watts was a big yawn fest, and as much as I like Jennifer Lawrence, I don’t get why she was nominated. Who will win? The big prize is going to either Jessica Chastain or Jennifer Lawrence. Who should win? Emmanuelle Riva WHO SHOULD HAVE BEEN NOMINATED? Marion Cotillard in ‘Rust and Bone’, and Helen Hunt in ‘The Sessions’ – She was nominated for a supporting role, but she deserved a Best nod. And Rachel Weisz in ‘The Deep Blue Sea’. Man, did they get it wrong this year.

SUPPORTING ACTOR – This is where it gets tricky. The Academy historically uses this category to give an award to someone who they might have over looked in the past. It’s always a tough category since everyone nominated is talented and deserving, even if they aren’t necessarily “deserving” for that particular year. Who will win? Tommy Lee Jones (See above) Who should win? Phillip Seymour Hoffmann. He was out of this world, crazy good. It’s too bad that Tommy Lee Jones will get an Oscar just for being Tommy Lee Jones. Again. I’d also love to see an upset and watch Christoph Waltz take that statute home. WHO SHOULD HAVE BEEN NOMINATED? Albert Brooks in ‘Drive’. I fucking HATED this movie, but I loved Albert Brooks. And he should have gotten a nod. Also, Leo DiCaprio and Javier Bardiem, and Sam Jackson.

SUPPORTING ACTRESS – Like Best Actress, this category is upsetting. My first question is why was Jackie Weaver nominated? She did all of jack and shit in that film. And then there is the media darling Anne Hathaway. I think she did a good job in that whole 35 minutes she had on-screen. Yes, her solo was outstanding, but should we just give Oscars willy nilly like that? I say no. But, that being said Who will win? Anne Hathaway Who should win? Amy Adams (or Helen Hunt) WHO SHOULD HAVE BEEN NOMINATED? Anne Dowd in Compliance, Maggie Smith in The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

ANIMATED FEATURE FILM – I LOVE watching animated movies. They make me really happy.  I have seen all of these films with the exception of ‘Pirates! Band of Misfits’ but it ain’t gonna win, so I’ll get to it later. But this is a tight race, and a tough one to call. All of the nominated films are fun, funny and entertaining. What will win? Frankenweenie or ParaNorman What should win? Any of them. They are all good films.

BEST DIRECTOR - Before you start yelling “SNUB!” let me reiterate, there are only 5 spots in this category, and 9 spots in Best Picture. Get it? Good. Onwards. Who will win? Steven Spielberg Who should win? Steven Spielberg Who should have been nominated? For starters Quentin Tarantino. Kathryn Bigelow. Ben Afleck.