Warm Beer, Cold women

Have I ever told you how much I enjoy walking around in the rain in thin sneakers that soak water all the way through to my socks? No? Well, apparently I love it so much that I did it all day yesterday. That’s what I get for writing a blog insisting that it’s not that cold here, and that the sun is shining. The sun must have remembered that Prague is supposed to be cold and wet in December and hopped back over to Hawaii. Well, we had a good run didn’t we sun.

The gang traveled outside Prague! We woke up early Saturday morning and started our journey to Plzen – the home of Pilsner Urquell. The idea was to take a bus to Plzen, take the Brewery tour, and get drunk. Well, we didn’t account for the rain. So we met some of our goals but we were soaked to the bone while doing it. The bus ride itself took about an hour. When we arrived in Plzen we had no clue where the brewery was. We wandered around in the rain for about thirty minutes looking for the tram or bus that would get us to the brewery. We hopped on a tram with no tickets trying not to look to “American” so we wouldn’t get busted. Five minutes later we were walking in the rain towards the Pilsner Urquell brewery.

When you walk in you suddenly feel like you are in a frat house. There is a huge sign that says “Beer World”, and a gigantic glass case full of beer bottles – at least 100 of them. I looked around for Bluto, or Bugger or any member of Tri Lambda, but all I found were some stony surfers from San Diego. Close enough. The tour lasted about an hour. We got to see all the beer in barrels, and even walk down in the maze of beer caverns. It was pretty cool. Actually, it was pretty cold! On top of it raining outside, it was freezing down in the bowels of the brewery. When they tapped the un-pasteurized barrel to let us have a plastic cup of beer, my icy little hands shivered with excitement.

Our cute little tour guide (I have a soft spot for tour guides) instructed us on the correct way to drink the “golden brew”. It’s a lot like drinking wine. You hold it up to the light to make sure the color is right. Next you swirl it around in the mug, releasing the aroma of hops and barley. At this point we are also supposed to take note of the frothy head. (Mmmm…frothy head) Then, you take a sip and let the beer flow over and around your tongue. It was really sweet and fresh. The cold brew made me feel all warm inside. If you have ever made your own beer, then you know how great it smells and how yummy it tastes when it is fresh. I made beer for my wedding and it was good, if I remember correctly. The beer, not the marriage. (hahahaha)
We made our way back to our bus at about 7:00p.m. and journeyed back to Vinohrady for frozen pizza. A good day all in all. I was just happy to do something a little different with my weekend. My weekends are about to become a precious commodity to me. I went into James Cook, after much persistence, and got my starter schedule. Woo hoo! I am going to be working this week! I have four permanent classes, and four substitution classes. I am starting with 11 hours/week. Not bad when you consider that full time teaching is 20 – 25 hours a week. That’s a lot of classes and a lot of planning. I will not have any free time. Finally! I want to be busy! I mean I like hanging out as much as the next guy, but I am starting to feel like a fifth (or third) wheel.

All of my comrades here in Praha are age 22 – 25. If you have forgotten, I am a lovely, brilliant age 32, and I still have an amazing rack. (And my birthday is January 11…if you want to send me some money or a gift containing money.) Anyway, I am about ten years older than the rest of the gang. No biggie, most of the time. It’s the fact that no one here has seen films like Red Dawn, and first saw Breakfast Club and Ferris Beuler’s Day Off on video. I am often heard saying, “Oh, I remember when that came out…” and I am met with looks like, “Who invited grandma to the party?” Pair that with the fact that EVERYONE here has coupled up and you get a little picture of what I am dealing with. These kids worked fast too! We hadn’t been here two weeks before there was some swapping of spit. And hey, I’m all for slutting it up – I’m just jealous. Anyway, that leaves me, the old lady, alone. A lot. I don’t mind hanging out alone, but when you hang out alone all day, then all night with couples – which can be like spending time alone – you can start to feel a little estranged. Does that make sense? The whole point is that I am pretty happy to have work to do, to have something to occupy my little brain, so that I am not constantly thinking about the boyfriend that I don’t have.

Oh, and please don’t even write to me about “hot Czech guys” and how I will get one. Just don’t. Have you ever been here? Well, let me explain a little something to you: there are no hot Czech guys. Zilch. Zero. Nula. Seriously. Some of the women here are fantastic, but the men are like throw backs to 1984. The young guys have long hair held back with a headband – like a girl headband. They have bad skin for the most part and just look, well, not cute. And the old guys, well they have a beer gut that looks like they have been working on since the Velvet revolution. I think the best part is the fact that the Cosby sweater is still alive and kicking here in the Czech Republic. Nothing turns me on like a beer gut busting out from under a Cosby sweater.

So I am resigning myself to being single. Hell, if Bridgette Jones can do it so can I. I know she’s fictional, but so am I. I’ll find a nice boy when the time is right. I mean I am kind of a catch if you forget about how short I am.

Just ask anyone who’s ever dated me.

Wait, on second though, don’t do that. Just take my word for it.

You can trust me.

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2 thoughts on “Warm Beer, Cold women

  1. You’re so cute (I mean that in the most purest of terms…don’t make the fem come after me). I don’t know, a budda belly wrapped in some puddin’ pop love sounds delish. Now, if they are wearing acid wash jeans…I’m movin to Prague!Good luck tomorrow on the new gig be fabulous be you.

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