Happy New Year – or as I have taken to saying…Happy BOND Year! Get it? No? Well, just think about it. What year is it going to be? 2007! Get it? 007? I think it’s pretty cute, but I am a little lame. Either way you say it – it is still the end of one year and the beginning of yet another. I usually try to sit down and look back at the year that is coming to a close and take stock of what has happened in the world and to me personally. I don’t think I will be able to do that this year. Too much has happened both in the world and in my life to take a good look back. There is just too much to consider. Take yesterday as one brief example: Sadam Hussein was executed Saturday morning. Jesus. What a golden age we live in! I don’t know. I know the man was a mass murdering, sadist, asshole, but do we still need to be hanging human beings from the gallows? I mean our American presidents, past and present, have been responsible for killing millions of people in the name of democracy. What happens to them? Well so far the worst to happen is they get made fun of on SNL, or Michael Moore bends them over and has his way with them. Hell, Clinton got more reamed for getting rimmed in the oval office than Bush will get for killing millions of Americans. I mean what fucking year is this? Oh right 2007. We just covered that. For a minute there I thought it was 1907.
As for me personally, January brings with it more than just the start of another year. January brings with it the most sacred of all days: my birthday. That’s right my dears, I will be turning the big 33 this year in Prague! Crazy. I am actually pretty excited about it. It is a far more symmetrical number than 32 and it yet one step further away from my 20’s. I would not choose to be in my twenties again for all of the pivo in Praha. I am beginning to think that being in your twenties is like a second adolescence. You know how when you were 12 – 16 you pretty much thought that you knew everything? I think that happens to you again in your early to mid twenties. You have been to college, you have been drunk, you have had sex, you voted in the presidential election all the while claiming that “it really makes no difference who you vote for but…” You have read all the “right” books, seen all of the “important films”, listened to music that is simply “amazing”, disregard anyone who thinks differently than you do while at the same time claim to be an individual, and pretty much think that you have this big blue planet wired.
Fuck. I hope, I really hope, that I was not that much of an idiot. But, I bet if you ask my mother or anyone else who had the rare privilege of knowing me back then, they will tell you I was. I must have been. I was a dilettante feminist who said things like, “My favorite film is Bergman’s “Persona” without feeling the least bit pretentious. I mean, jesus! Whose favorite film is really something like that? Nobody, that’s who. Shit…my favorite film is Grease! Or Star Wars! Always has been. Yeah, I adore the film Persona but I am not going to be the special kind of jackass who goes around saying that it’s my favorite film. Oh man! Who was I trying to impress? Why didn’t somebody slap me? But, in my own defense, I think we were all a bit like that at that age. You are struggling to find your own place in the world, and no one tells you won’t find it by being …twenty-four.
Which again is why I am glad to be turning 33.
I kind of rock now. I don’t have the constant need to defend my taste in music, or anything else for that matter. I like what I like and if you like something else, well good for you. I don’t feel like seeing a “mainstream movie” is beneath me. I thought Broke Back Mountain was beautiful, but I also enjoy watching Beer Fest every Friday with the fellas while getting tossed. I have good manners, and an even better work ethic. I am proud of both. I always send HANDWRITEN thank you cards and I am a hard and loyal worker. I am not scared to tell people my opinions – wait that was never a problem for me – I am able to take care of myself and I am able to love people in a way that I could never have fathomed when I was in my 20’s. People always say that with age comes wisdom. I don’t know about all of that, but I know that with age comes experience. And brother – I have had a lot of them. That’s what makes you who you are.
Heck just yesterday I saw that I have only a pittance of money left in my account so I decided to make soup. It’s cheap, it will last me a while, and at the same time provide me with a few hours of free entertainment. How very economical. I went to the store and got a bunch of potatoes and corn and just started throwing stuff into a pot until it tasted good. I put in onion, corn, potatoes, flour, milk, garlic, butter, sausage, pepper, chicken bouillon, water, some sort of dry soup mix whose label I couldn’t read and a whole lot of love. And you know what? It worked! I totally rocked that soup! I now have claim to the best Stone Soup in Praha. Thank you very much. Follow with a few gummi bears and I call that a well-balanced meal.
Today? Today I proved that no matter how many loads of laundry you have done in your life you can still manage to dye all of your clothes that certain shade of pink that is found soaked into wet clothes sitting, dejected and damp, at the bottom of the washing machine.
That’s me, full of wisdom and experience.
I have long way to go, baby.