Stiffen My Resolve

It’s 2009. This is not news to anyone with a heart beat, but it bears repeating at this time of year. Every December 31 folks like to take a moment to look back at the year that has past, reflect on the good and the bad and ultimately decide what they need to change in their own lives to make the new year a better one. We decide to spend less time at work and more time with family. We decide THIS is the year we are going to really hit the gym and get into shape. We are going to quit smoking or drinking and we are going to do abstract things like enjoy life more and learn new things. We vow to get out of debt, get organized and to become better citizens.

Me? I am feeling a little uninspired as of late. I don’t know if it is the new year, my birthday or the alignment of the stars. Maybe Venus is in retrograde or something. Maybe I am lacking in iron. Maybe I am suffering from seasonal affective disorder. Seriously.(SAD) Did you know that there was such a thing? I guess people get depressed and start eating mountains of potatoes, sleeping a lot and not going out because of the early darkness. Um, I thought that was just winter. But, I was wrong. It is a disorder called SAD. If Saturday Night Live invented a disorder – that’s what they would call it. Anyway. I have just been in a funk since New Years.

New Year was a blast this year, don’t get me wrong. For the first time since moving to Prague 3 years ago I didn’t spend New Years Eve in the mad mad center of Town. Instead, Claire and I stayed in the Ziz. We got all dolled up and went to the Blind Eye and partied til dawn. It was fun. I was happy to be with friends in the warmth and comfort of a bar, not on the streets playing target practice with the trams. New Years day was spent with the roomie on the couch in the living room watching Zombie movies – a fitting way to ring in the New Year while hung over. We had a good time giggling at the horrible dialog (“Jesus, Mary and Joseph!” Swig from flask) and the super cool “special guest” Zombies. Honestly – next time you watch DAY OF THE DEAD, play a little I Spy. We found CLOWN Zombie, PIZZA MAKER Zombie, BRIDE Zombie, MILITARY Zombie and many more. Seriously – hours of fun. Anyway, I had a great holiday season.

So, why then am I zipless? Why am I lacking in luster? Why is my proverbial blanket wet?

I have no answers. I mean, one reason could be the fact that it is -10 outside and I am not one who wants to freeze my ever expanding ass off. The snow is so much prettier from the comfort of my room. Another reason could be that i am poor. Wait…not poor. BROKE. So, going out is something to save all my Koruns for. Or maybe, just maybe it is perfectly normal to take a break from being on the go, in a good mood, super charged party girl all the time. I don’t want to resolve to be a better person, or a different person. I want to be me, and I want to be happy about that. So…

I resolve, in 2009, to play it cool. Act accordingly. Run. Skip. Jump. Spin. Make at least 14 things with my hands. Break something. Drink tea. Find a new place and go there. Color. Sparkle. Look up. Be pretty. Flirt. Dance with total abandon. Laugh as much as possible. Practice my bad ass Buffy kicks. Write post cards. Take my vitamins. Take my licks. Write something incredible. Go to the Zoo. Smile. Cry. Sing. And well, fuck it. Just be myself.

I am after all pretty effing cool.

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