The Mullet Stops Here.

Of all the pejorative terms out there, I think the most accurate and well deserved is “White Trash”. It has gotten kind of a glamorous face lift in the past few years, what with TV shows like “My Name is Earl” and the rise of the “Dumb Blonde” as a visual ideal for women. Chicks are now considered “cool” if they drink PBR from the can while sporting a cowboy hat, a 14 carat gold lightening bolt necklace and tell tale roots. But these are just the mere trappings of “white trash” that the rest of America has taken under its gentrified wing and claimed as its own.

Real white trash doesn’t really shine quite as bright, does it? Under those shiny, over-sized hoop earrings lies plain old aluminum. The kind of stuff that makes your earlobes turn green. Real White Trash has a bad hair do and smells of stink, not Sixth Avenue. It’s the type of person who may or may not have a missing tooth and may or may not have finished high school. Real white trash hangs out in front of the Wal-Mart and harasses passers by. Case in point: A friend of mine recently shared with me that her 17 year old son was trying to find a book for school, and as a last resort went to Wal-Mart. (Said friend hates Wal-Mart as much as I hate Starbucks.)While perusing what must be the amazing selection of books at Wal-Mart (and not finding the best selling “Outliers” by Malcolm Gladwell) my friends son was given a verbal drive by from a random guy. “Cut your hair, you fucking Hippie!”. You’d think after all this time, assholes would come up with something new – but you’d be wrong. At any rate, this long haired 17 year old left the store empty handed, and a little annoyed.

But that is not the end (or the point) of this story. When he got out to the parking lot, the jerk was sitting in the bed of his flatbed with a white trash friend … waiting. These are two grown men hanging out at a Wal-Mart at 4pm on a week day, just waiting to harass. These two upstanding citizens proceeded to call this kid a “fucking fag” and then threatened to beat his ass. Why? Because they didn’t like his hair. Hell, I wasn’t there, but I have a feeling that this is a case of the Mullet calling the kettle black. I’m just sayin’.

“These Type” of people are not limited to America. Just the other day I was told of a few Czech assholes who were getting their jolly’s from harassing the owners (and kid!) of a local Vietnamese market.

How are people like this getting away with their behavior? I don’t know, but I know that they are. Everyday, someplace in the world, some white trash dick heads are perpetuating a stereo-type. Right now in Tujunga, CA some jerk is listening to White Snake just a little too loud in his truck cab, as he gets out and HOOTS at a woman leaving the 7-Eleven. And no one bothers to say a word.

We can’t let this continue, dear readers. Sure – it’s fun to have “White Trash” theme parties, eat cheese in aerosol form on a Triscuit, and wear white Pleather boots with fringe now and then. But let’s let it end there. If you see someone being mean – say something! Here in the CZ, people are more likely to stop and help a dog than they are a person. Being disrespectful and rude is not one of the cute, funny things we should want to emulate from white trash culture.

Let’s just take the food, fashion mistakes and the music and call it even.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s