Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star

My Ukulele and I are getting on famously. Less than a week with the little bugger and I have it singing three chords! Three! They are the C, the F and the very difficult (for me) G7. I have even managed to change chords – sometimes seamlessly. I wake up in the morning, go to work, come home and pick up the ukulele and practice. Mine is a fine Ukulele, rich in history and a pretty good instrument from what I understand. My mom bought it many moons ago when we went to Hawaii. My grandpa played the ukulele, and now I do to.

My boyfriend came over last night and I decided to show off for him. I played the C, the F and then the G7 and smiled like I had just discovered the cure to something really bad. I was proud. I even strummed and showed him how I could change the chords, “Like a pro”, I thought. I handed the instrument to him and he began to play. Really play. His eyes lit up as he played the three chords i just showed him, and then went on to strum and pick. Ten minutes later he was playing “There’s a place in France, where the naked ladies dance…” He comes from a musical family. His dad is a musician, and so is his brother so he feels best when he is making music. And it showed. When music is in you, it has to have an outlet. And it got me thinking about being happy and what that means and if I am really, truly in pursuit of happiness.

I have decided I am not. I thought about it for a while and came to the conclusion that I am not chasing happy. I am not pursuing it, or trying to catch it and make it my bitch. I AM happy. When someone says all they want in life is to be happy, they are already admitting defeat. (Think about it this way: Do you want something you already have? No. I don’t want a microwave because I already have one.) When you say, “I want to be happy” you are telling the universe that you are NOT happy. And maybe, just maybe that is the reason you can’t “get” happy.

I used to be one of those people who focused on the negative without even knowing it. Life was against me. All of the gods, living and dead, had conspired to make my life a miserable one. No matter what good I had, it wasn’t. If I had money – it wasn’t enough. If I had love – it walked out, and it was always HIS fault. Jobs? yep – but I hated them. I had a Chevy full of excuses as to why I should be felt sorry for, yet it never dawned on me that it was MY OWN DOING. My circumstances (good or bad) were all my fault.

Each moment of each day we make decisions, and sometimes we decide we just don’t want to be happy. That’s fine, but just make sure that you know you have other options. When you look at your wallet and see no money – don’t blame the economy or your shitty job, or the fact that you don’t have one. Love life in shambles? Maybe you want it that way. Some people thrive on drama and bad relationships. I decided a while back, after someone turned a very bright and ugly light on me, that I needed to change my ways or I really would be unhappy forever. And I did change. I started by taking full responsibility for every choice I made – good or bad. And it’s awesome. I really am happier. Sure, my boyfriend and my friends make me happy, but they don’t “MAKE ME” happy. I do that. And by doing that, I enable them to be happy as well.

The universe isn’t out to get you. It’s out to help you. It wants you to be amazing and creative and rich and cool and all of the things in life that are good. It just wants you to want it too. My ukulele taught me that. And now I am teaching it “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” – just to say thanks.

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