Plastic Parts Are Made For Toys

I have always adored Barbie. As a little girl, I enjoyed dressing her up to go on dates with Darth Vader and a sepia toned John Wayne torso. (My mom refused to buy me a KEN doll, so I used what was available resulting in either pity dates with the quadriplegic or risking a turn to the Dark side with Lord Vader.) I loved her stiletto heels and her glamourous clothes. I loved her long blond hair and the tiny brush that came in the box. I adored “My First Barbie” because she had slick arms and legs which made for easier costume changes. Of course I went through the rebilious stage and cut all of the hair off one of my Barbie Doll, and then painted her head with nail polish. She was the “Punk” Barbie. (sigh)

As I got older, I still collected Barbie Dolls. I collected the Barbies of the World, and the ones dressed as film characters – like Sandy from the end of Grease, or Marilyn Monroe or Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. I kept them in their original boxes and never played with them, like a good little nerd. And I’ll tell ya – it was really, REALLY hard not to play with the Bob Mackie Cher Doll.

But as much as I have always loved Barbie, I never once wanted to BE her. For one thing, Barbie is tall and long legged. I am a midget with stubby, but HOT gams. Barbie has a slender figure and I, as I have been told, have a huge ass. And of course, Barbie never ages. How could she? She is a toy, a plastic fashion doll. What little girl would want to dress up a 51 year old doll?

Joan-Rivers-Plastic-Surgery-Before-and-AfterThe irony here is that there are millions of 51 year old women trying to look like Barbie, and the results are down right frightening. Take Joan Rivers for example – the woman bares no resemblance to herself, or any other human being anymore. She looks shiny and freakish. Donatella Versace is grotesque, and poor Melanie Griffith is just sad looking.

But why? Why do women do this? Are we so scared of aging that we have to turn to these extremes? I hope not. Because honestly, if you look at any man or woman who has had extensive plastic surgery, it just makes them look older. Even if you get the new boobs, the eye lift, the face lift, and what ever else – you are still going to have saggy elbows and a birthday every year. You get older and there is nothing wrong with that.

To illustrate my point I would like to point out some drop dead GORGEOUS women who have chosen to age naturally. I think that these women (all aged 50 and up) are far more beautiful than these plastic starletts trying to become something that you cannot place to close to a heater. So take head my friends: Beauty is only skin deep – and you any get so much skin.

Meryl Streep – age 50

Iman – age 54

Jaclyn Smith – age 50

Angelica Huston – age 58

Holly Hunter – 50

Susan Sarandon


2 thoughts on “Plastic Parts Are Made For Toys

  1. Are you SURE none of these actresses has had work done? Or do they just have really discreet work done?Anyway, actresses with their crews of makeup, hair and fashion artists aren't the best models for us. How about if we look for examples outside the cinematic hothouse, at real women with more admirable careers than movie-making. Although Iman does look especially gorgeous, that golden skin…

  2. so I’m reading your blog backwards, and this is starting to help give me a little insight on your disdain for the show “Bridalplasty”. Like everything else in life, I believe that nothing on this planet is bad for you so as it’s done in moderation. Basically, ALL movie stars have some work done in order to improve their appearance, it’s a simple fact that they must do this IF they are interested in maintaining an active career. Like “1st Mate” said, the SECRET is how discreet they are hence my belief in moderation.

    I fully support any celebrity or average Joe who chooses to go under the knife to improve their looks just as long as they are happy with themselves about it. The last thing I’d hate to see them do is become the next Mickey Rourke or Joan Rivers as in your example, those are clearly folks who did not adhere to the moderation rule and have had far TOO MANY surgeries to sustain any resemblance of the human form.

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