Every once in a while I have a moment in my life where I am reminded just how much of a “Girly” girl I am not. Most recently I was trying to braid my hair. Nothing fancy mind you, just two Laura Ingalls style braids. It took me a frustrating hour to complete the task only to have friends re braid it. Twice. One of which was a guy.
That has just never been who I am. I won’t go so far as to say that I was a Tom Boy, but I was pretty close. I have an older brother so I have always been comfortable around guys and been privy to their habits and conversations. But, I don’t have a lot of make-up. I don’t know how to use a curling iron. I hate shopping. I don’t dress with any particular “flair”, (which I gotta say, I am quite pleased about. I have a distinct style of… me But at least I don’t follow EVERY trend that comes along. I saw two girls out the other night that looked like they had escaped an 80’s video. One had on a silver head band, and the other had the TIGHTEST, BRAIDED side pony tale. Yeah. I know. These are fashion mistakes that only “Girly Girls” make. Anyway…) and, I drink Whiskey, or beer.
I’ve never really been one for fluffy “girly” drinks. Sure, back in my misspent youth I guzzled a few wine coolers in my cheer leading uniform. And, in my early twenties I recall being fond of amaretto sours for about six months. But other than that I have never been partial to the special drinks designed for “girls”. And I mean GIRLS, not women. You know the type of cocktail I am referring to – they are usually pink or purple and smell like watermelon or flavors of Bonnie Bell Lipsmackers. They come in a martini glass but have no relation to a martini and they are sweet enough for someone wants to get plastered, but doesn’t “like the taste of alcohol”.
Blatant sexism aside, these kinds of drinks bother me. Or rather, the type of girl who drinks them bother me. First, they are MARKETED to “GIRLS”. Girls, not women. Girls means… well girls. You would never see a Beer ad for “Boys”. Nope only MEN drink beer, but drink it next to a hot GIRL! In America I have seen pre packaged “Cocktails” that come in pink packaging and are pre mixed (because us dumb girls couldn’t possibly mix our own) and undoubtedly involve fruit. The name is usually written in a fancy, feminine font so that the fairer sex knows it is for them. Then it will pander to a woman’s sense of vanity by calling itself “Light” or “Skinny”. The label will say “Half the calories and half the guilt”. The liquid inside will probably be pink, and the actual bottle of alcohol will look like a toy for children or a perfume bottle. None of these things are mistakes. And sure, there is tons of alcohol marketing for men, but it usually doesn’t make them feel stupid. Hell, even one of those (and I use this term loosely here) women from the “Real Housewives” series has a line of Margarita’s called Skinny Margarita.
I don’t know. But I am tired of seeing pink razors cost double the amount of the blue ones. I am tired of seeing adds for things like pink tools. I am annoyed at the amount of women who count calories when they are out having fun. I don’t need everything I own to be pink for me to know that I am a woman. I know that I am a woman because I am not stupid. The only woman that the “Everything must be pink!” idea ever worked for was Barbie. And last time I checked she was a brainless, plastic doll with a shit load of clothes and no job.
Actually, I think she also has a silver headband.