10 Things I am Over

There are a lot of things that float about these days, and a lot of it stays around far longer than is entirely necessary. The Internet makes it worse through the magic of things like Facebook, Twitter and Youtube. Below is a list of things/people I just wish would go away. And please remember that I am a sarcastic sonofabitch and should not be taken seriously.

  1. The use of the word “amazing” to describe anything and everything. – Really? That salad was AMAZING? Did it get up and do the tango? Did it recite Shakespeare? Did it suddenly turn into a million dollars? If not, then just fucking say it tasted good.
  2. Unicorns – I am sick and tired of Unicorns being the new hip thing. This fictional creature has now crossed on to have its own online video game (which is actually cool) has the hipster crowd wearing shirts of its likeness and little eleven year old girls everywhere wondering why a bunch of adults are suddenly raiding their sticker collections. Enough already. 
  3. Zombies – I love zombies, always have. But it seems that recently Zombies have become the new Vampire. Both mainstream folks and rock-a-billy punks all adore the undead. And now the undead is sexy! I have seen zombie pin up calendars and zombie porn. I was one for Halloween, but man. It needs to um, die. (no pun intended)
  4. Michael Cera – See last post.
  5. Pseudo Names – Once upon a time, fake names were reserved for folks that needed them. Folks like Drag Queens and writers who feared for their lives or livelihoods. Not anymore. Today, you can throw a rock and hit someone who has created a who new persona for themselves. I can’t keep up with all the stage/fake/pseudo names anymore, so I’m just gonna call you Keith. 
  6. Facebook updates about what people are ACTUALLY Doing – You have seen these. “Max is eating dinner! Yum!” or “Going to the Gym and then off to work” Why bother? If you are going to use your status updates to tell people what you are doing every second of the day, then at least choose the off beat stuff. I would actually find it refreshing to see a status update that said “Watching porn”. At least it is interesting.
  7. Lady Gaga – I don’t find her to be a talented, visionary pop star. I find her to be over hyped and talent free. Take away all the bells and whistles and you are left with a skinny Madonna wannabe. I might have a little respect for her if she just sang a song – without auto tuning. Which brings me to …
  8. Auto tuning – This is something that should be reserved for Cher, and Cher only. 
  9. Glenn Beck/Palin/Tea Party – I shouldn’t have to explain why I have had enough of these idiots, should I? 
  10. Hipsters – It’s funny. I never heard the term before moving to Europe and then I heard it all the time. I didn’t know what it meant, but I sure do now. It’s those people who have contempt for people who don’t take the time and energy to pretend that they didn’t take the time and energy to look the way that they do. It must be exhausting. Being ironic all the time takes a toll on you. Now, let me go get my American Apparel hoodie and my Red Bull. 
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