Mommie Dearest

Moms. They cooked for you, cleaned your butt, bought you stuff, possibly bailed you out of jail once or twice and even pretended to like that loser boyfriend you had back when you were twenty-something. Sure they yelled and screamed and gave you that “I am so disappointed in you” look, but let’s face it – you were probably a little disappointing at times. From what I understand moms have the toughest job in the world. I wouldn’t know because I am not a mom, but mom’s sure like to say it, so who am I to argue. With Mother’s Day quickly approaching I thought I would take a minute to pay tribute to some of my favorite mom’s. 

  1. My Mom. Hell, She had to put up with me and my brother growing up and for that fact alone she deserves a medal. But she also makes the world’s best cinnamon rolls, let’s me watch Wife Swap when I come to visit and sends me care packages. Thanks Mom!
  2. Carol Brady. Great hair. Great parenting. Great pant suits.
  3. Rosanne. My best friend and I always admired brassy demeanor and no-nonsense attitude with kids. She is kind of the Anti-Carol Brady and I dig that. What? 
  4. Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford. I didn’t say Joan Crawford because that woman was NOT a good mom. But the MOVIE version, well that is just pure genius. Not only does she beat the crap out of her kids, she looks incredible doing it! Never before has a bath robe and Dutch Boy cleanser looked so chic.
  5. Caroline Ingalls. And again, I am going for the fictional version here. She is pretty much the best mom ever. She is hot. Her kids like her. She’s smart. Her husband is pretty badass. Caroline Ingalls should have had a workshop on the Prairie for how to be a good wife and mother.

So here’s to all you mom’s out there. Thanks for all the cookies and the band aids on skinned knees. Thank you for the slumber parties and gymnastic lessons. Thanks for the extra cash in the bank account when funds ran low. Thanks for the pep talks and even for the fights. And, thanks for telling us not to smoke and have sex – we did it anyway but you can rest assured it totally wasn’t your fault.  

We wouldn’t have turned out the way we did without you.


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