Presidential Hopefuls

The requirements of becoming the President of the United States of America are sparse and simple. You must be a native born US Citizen. You must be at least 35 years old. And, you must have lived in the United States for at least fourteen years. One the one hand, this simple list of requirements is American to the core. When we are young our mother’s say, “You can be anything you want when you grow up. Even President!” And it’s true. With only three easy requirements, technically anyone CAN be president. On the other hand, is that a good thing?

In this day and age of easy information, and even easier misinformation, I don’t know that it is a good thing that anyone can be president. Sarah Palin is out there telling us that Paul Revere was out there warning the British, and Michele Bachmann wants us to remember our founding fathers like John Quincy Adams. These aren’t cases of someone “misspeaking”. These are cases of stupidity. I think there need to be some added requirements to becoming President of these here United States. 

  1. Any candidate must pass an oral test about the history of the United States. This test will be on a fifth grade level. The test shall be given in a public forum, like “Are you smarter than a Fifth Grader.” Here are some good sample questions!
  2. I think the elections need more zazz. The polls are so old school! We should be able to call or text in our votes. And screw the network pundits. I think Ryan Seacrest should be the only election night commentator. He would add tension and excitement and roll “clips” of the candidates eating supper or walking the dog. Awwww.  The candidates will have to preform some sort of live talent – like juggling puppies or spelling Mississippi.
  3. Each candidate will have a live, one hour, televised “chat” with Jon Stewart. He’s smart, quick witted and knows what to ask. And heck, he’s cute and funny!
I think with these added requirements the American people won’t be so easily won over by politician double talk, bullshit and straight up stupidity.  

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