Reproductive Science

Now that I am back in America I find that I am often reminded of just how long I have been away. For instance, it is no longer alright to tell a child “no”, you must instead “redirect” their attention elsewhere. Being fat is a right we have, and needs to be protected – how dare you take away my rights to trans-fats!? And let’s not forget that we need to be protected from ourselves wherever we go, that’s why it is good we have all of the cameras watching our every move.


It seems to me that America is leading the world in made up facts. You like that? Made up facts? It is all the rage these days. Like, a woman has some super cool power that let’s her choose when she will get pregnant, and this super power “kicks in” when she gets raped so that she won’t end up with a rape baby. How awesome! But this is nothing new. People have been lying to you about women and womens bodies for years. It’s just the American way. I am pretty sure that the mandatory “health” class I took in the 10th grade didn’t cover how a rape can generate it’s own birth control, but if the people in the US Government say it is true, then it must be.

Let’s look at female hysteria for instance. Way, way back in the 19th century women were medically diagnosed with “female hysteria”, a condition who’s symptoms include faintness, nervousness, sexual desire, insomnia, fluid retention, heaviness in abdomen, muscle spasm, shortness of breath, irritability, loss of appetite for food or sex, and “a tendency to cause trouble”. In order to cure women of this horrible disease women were given water massages, and vibrators. Other cures included bed rest, bland food, seclusion, refraining from mentally taxing tasks (for example, reading) and sensory deprivation. Thank god the men folk were around to save us from ourselves.

Let’s not forget that just recently The Biggest Idiot in the World  Rush Limbaugh called a woman a slut for using birth control. If being a responsible person is slutty then slap my ass and paint a big red A on my tube top, because I too am a slut. It seems that men out there don’t want women having “too much sex” or sex that isn’t “normal”. Sorry losers. It isn’t 1896 anymore, and sex isn’t just for procreating – thank god. As a woman who is child free, I expect a big, fat THANK YOU card from the RNC for not making yet another spoiled American kid who will suckle at my guilty, unavailable teat for 26 years while I throw money at them so they feel loved.

Let me just sum it up for you – a woman can get pregnant if she is raped. Plan B does NOT cause abortions. Taking birth control does not make women extra horny and want to have sex. Abortion does not cause breast cancer, or prostrate cancer. They want you to think that YOU are too stupid to think for yourself and you need people to tell you what to do.

I hope you are mad, and I hope that you think the republican party is trying to sell you a bill of goods because it is. It is 2012 and women are smart, working, thoughtful people who can do more than just faint on couches, be mommies or jump out of cakes. There are folks out there trying to get us to be non thinking bimbos – women who can’t or worse –  don’t want to think for themselves. But if we use our collective voice we can stop them. We are strong and we are independent. We are wise and we are fighters. We are in charge of our own bodies until we give that control over to the people who are trying to take it from us. It is our job not to let them. A vote for Mitt Romney is a vote for submission.

Think about it.


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