Life Off-line

Hi there friends. I bet you have noticed a lack of witty and amusing posts from me lately. Heck, a lack of posts in general. And for this I am sorry. As you know I have recently relocated and have yet to get an internet connection in my flat, but I am told that it will happen by Monday. I have been able to get on line for about ten minutes a day – enough time for me to check my email and Facebook, and skim the news. I promise I will return with much awesomness ASAP. I am braving the coffee shop across the street to write this post. Here are my thoughts on whats going on in the world…

RNC – I am so happy that all of those republicans stood up in front of the entire world and said stupid things out loud. If anyone out there is even contemplating a vote for Romney, you haven’t really been paying attention. No thinking person would want to affiliate themselves with whats going on over there.

Speeches By Michelle & Bill – I hear these two speeches at the DNC were awesome and that I need a tissue handy to watch them. Clinton has always been a favorite of mine, and I still have a crush on him. Michelle Obama is by far the coolest, smartest, hottest, and most badass First Lady we have had since… ever. I can’t wait to watch! I even heard that a reporter on FOX news said that those two speeches pretty much won the election for Obama. As cool as that is, I don’t think calling a winner this far in advance is a good idea. But, it is FOX news, after all.

Starlettes – In brief, I think we should all leave Kristen, LiLo, Rihanna and the rest of them alone. If Rihanna is stupid enough to keep dating the untalented douchbag who beat her, and then kiss him on national television – then thats her bad. I don’t like her music anyway so I couldn’t give two shits. As for LiLo and Kristen, just back off. They are young American women which means they are going to make a ton of stupid mistakes – we all do. That’s what your twenties are for. The bummer for them is they have to do it in public. Think back to all the stupid stuff you did at 22 and then think about how great it would feel to have it plastered all over the internet. Give the dumb girls a break. At least until they are 26.

Texas  Many of you are wondering about Texas, and how I am doing here. Well, in brief I am happy, but that has nothing to do with being in Texas. I’m in Austin, which I keep being told is “The place to be in Texas” but I haven’t had much opportunity to see anything except freeways, fat people and my job. So far I have found Texans to be LOUD, overweight and bad dressers. If this is where “hipsters” are, then they are in hiding. Because the only hips I have seen were all on ONE woman. She had three sets all to herself. Texas makes me feel thin and pretty without doing anything. At all. And it’s fucking hot here. People keep telling me to wait for winter and it will get better. We’ll see about that. But, like I said – I am happy. I have a great flat, the best fella in the world and an actual bed to sleep on.

It doesn’t take much to make this little girl happy.


One thought on “Life Off-line

  1. When you get the chance, check out the hike and bike trail systems around town, especially the loop around Lady Bird Lake. Also check out the SoCo District (South Congress), lots of great live entertainment in the Warehouse District too. I believe Austin is usually ranked in one of the top 10 fittest cities in the nation, you should check out for tons of events being hosted each weekend. If you live on the North side of town, you are more than welcome to join our free marathon training group which is open to all levels of fitness, some folks only walk and join the group for the social aspect, ha!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s