I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – I love Halloween! I love the candy, the decorations, the costumes, trick-or-treating, and pumpkins! I even love all the scary college girls dressed up as Hookers. It wouldn’t be the same without them. Who would the rest of us make fun of all night if dumb twenty somethings didn’t dress up like slutty cats, dogs, teachers, and Elmo’s? The point is that I love Halloween and all the fun stuff that comes along with it. And part of that fun stuff is horror movies 24/7.
Last year I gave you an awesome list of my personal favorite Halloween movies. This year I will give you my favorite Horror Villains. This list is near and dear to me. Halloween is supposed to be scary and fun. Methinks we have gotten away from that.The focus isn’t on scary anymore. The only costume options for little girls seem to be pink or sexy. Well, screw that. I want to be scared! Bring on the slashers and stalkers. Bring on the crazies and the zombies! Here is my inspirational list of 10 terrifying villains.
- Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins), Psycho – Mild mannered hotel clerk Norman Bates manages to scare the bejeezes out of me every time I watch this movie. I think it is a combination of his pervy “Peeping Tom” stuff combined with his hatred for women who take showers. The last scene in the movie says it all.
- Michael Myers, Halloween – My personal favorite slasher is Mike Myers. I like his can do attitude. He is super strong, super stealthy and he doesn’t stop until he gets the job done. He escaped a mental institution and needs to kill Jamie Lee Curtis and an assortment of other high school babysitters including (but not limited to) one of my childhood heroes, PJ Soles.
- Annie Wilkes (Kathy Bates) Misery – The phrase “I’m your biggest fan” has never been more frightening. Kathy Bates is the worst nurse since Nurse Ratched, who almost made this list herself. She’s sweet, inventive and most of all she’s 100% committed to reading. I like that in a murderer. And I believe half the credit here goes to James Caan who made us all feel just as tortured as he was.
- Angela Baker (Felissa Rose) Sleepaway Camp – Judge, jury and executioner. This is one badass bitch. Kind of. I mean she was born a he, but raised as a girl and, well, it’s a really good back story and if you haven’t watched this classic 80’s slasher flick then just go do that now. It’s awesomness is vast my friends, vast.
- “Leatheface”, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre – Speaking of making a suit out of skin…
- “Bronson” (Tom Hardy) Bronson – This film is based on a real dude. He is the most notorious prisoner in the UK and earned the nickname “Bronson” because he likes killing people and kicking the crap out of them. If you haven’t seen this excellent film, then do so. But it is ULTRA VIOLENT, and ultra stylized which makes it ultra badass. Oh, and it includes my favorite sentence in all of cinema – BASED ON A TRUE STORY!
- Mrs. Margaret White (Piper Laurie), Carrie – I never thought of Carrie herself as a villain. She was a victim of circumstance and totally bad parenting. The REAL villains in this film are John Travolta, PJ Soles (god bless her) and one Miss Piper Laurie who plays Carrie’s crazy mom. If you think your mom is nuts, then you’ll feel better after seeing Carrie. Dirty Pillows!
- Baby Jane Hudson (Bette Davis) Whatever Happened To Baby Jane?– Bette Davis started out her career as the beautiful, young ingenue. She steadily made her way up through the ranks of Bitch and Villain until she finally made a full 180 with Badshit Crazy Super Bitch. Baby Jane Hudson is Bette Davis at her best. And, it didn’t hurt her performance that she hated Joan Crawford in real life either.
- “Buffalo Bill”, (Ted Levine) The Silence Of The Lambs – You thought I was going to say Hannibal Lector, didn’t you? I know he gets all the glory, but Jamie “Buffalo Bill” Gumb is far more terrifying than the good Doctor. First off, he is still on the loose. Second, he kidnaps overweight women from parking lots. Third, he throws them in a ditch, kills them, and then skins them so he can make a woman suit. All he wants is to be pretty. I get that.
- “The Big Bad” The Cabin in the Woods – If you haven’t seen this, then I don’t want to ruin the fun. But all I can say is it IS fun. It’s a great movie that satisfies all your horror movie needs. I’m not even going to include a clip. Just watch it and have a fun time.