Happy Slut-o-Ween!

The other day my boyfriend and I went to one of those pop up Halloween stores in hopes of finding inspiration for our first Halloween stateside in, for me, seven years. The first thing we saw was a “Sexy Cop” outfit. “Ugh,” I said as I rolled my eyes. “Why does every fucking costume for a woman have to be slutty? Why can’t we just be scary or funny?” My boyfriend told me to relax. This was not the first time I have complained about the social injustices of my favorite holiday.

We kept walking. We past slutty Elmo, sexy Chewbaca, sexy fairy, sexy taxi driver(!), slutty cat, dog, fish and rabbit, and of course the classic – sexy nurse. Finding zero inspiration among the prepackaged male fantasies I had to choose from, I tried to think of what I could use from my own closet. After seven Halloween’s in a country that doesn’t celebrate Halloween, I have gotten pretty good at make-shift costuming. It was then I remembered I had a French Maid outfit. The same one I had worn in High School, and again a few years ago in Prague. Sure it is totally unoriginal, but it’s easy and cheap. And I could always be a zombie French Maid, or a French Maid who’s had the shit knocked out of her once or twice. Perfect. I told my fella that I’d just use what I had at home and he said, “Wait. Why is a sexy nurse bad, and a French Maid is ok?”

A valid question with a simple answer. I walked him back over to the slutty cop outfit and said, “Have you ever seen a cop dressed like this? Nope. The French Maid outfit is naturally sexy. It isn’t contrived to be sexy – it just is. Nobody lowered the hem or changed it to make it sexy. The sexy Elmo, or nurse or whatever – is deliberate. There is nothing sexy about a taxi driver or Elmo. It’s just underwear pretending to be a costume. Lame.” Personally, I’d have more respect for a woman who wore lingerie and said she was dressed as a hooker. At least that’s honest.

What I hate about the sexist Halloween costume surge is the fact that we ladies buy into it. A long time ago Halloween wasn’t about showing cleavage or being sexy – it was about being scary. When did we all decide that being man candy for Halloween was a good idea? I’m happy to say that I grew out of it. The French Maid outfit is modest in comparison to some of the things I have seen packaged as a costume.

The difference between being sexy and being slutty is simple. A woman can be super sexy without showing her boobs, her ass, and everything else. Once you raise the hemlines, lower the neckline and put on fuck me heels (all at the same time) you have ventured into slutty. If that is the kind of attention you really want, then knock yourself out. Have a good time. Just know that EVERYONE at the party thinks you are a walking, talking cliché.

Happy Halloween!

2 thoughts on “Happy Slut-o-Ween!

  1. Hm, interesting take. I’ve never thought about respecting a costume more/less based on how sexy the concept was originally. Also, I’d like to point out that some people were born into a society where Halloween was always ‘sexy’ and just thinks it’s the way it is. My only critique is that you take a hostile tone towards women who “buy into” the sexist halloween costume surge. You need to accept that many people don’t even think about it like that. Also, Halloween is kinda like christmas for single people.. it gives you an excuse to dress slutty once a year and have fun. I don’t think it’s right to judge someone just based on their outfit. But I will agree that the context of the party is very important.

    • why do you need a holiday to dress slutty for? i hereby free you from the need for “an excuse to dress slutty [only] once a year.” if it is so much fun, then embrace the slut and go with it! isn’t that liberating? when i wake up and feel like being a little bit slutty i wear my shortest skirt to work and feel awesome all day. try it. it might make you a little less uptight.

      regarding judgement: if i showed up to your halloween party dressed in a giant marshmallow costume, would you decline to pass judgement? or would you stand around with your other “slutty cop” friends and try to guess what awful bodily imperfection i’m hiding?

      and regarding what the author should accept, you also need to accept something: that the boys might give you all the attention on halloween because you’re walking around in lingerie, but none of them will call you the next day and that is no one’s fault but your own.

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