Why I Hate Football Season

football-stadium-colorado_3571_990x742I look forward to football season about as much as I look forward to visiting the DMV, or renewing my Visa. I fucking loathe American football. Knowing that football season has begun its long and painful journey of 256 games makes me want to crawl under a rock until mid January. I like sports in general, and I love sports movies, but I can’t stand watching sports on TV. Especially football. How can people enjoy the NFL when they KNOW the NFL are liers and money grubbing assholes? Because Football Fans don’t care if players are getting hurt or getting brain disease caused by concussions! Because FOOTBALLLLLLL!  … Don’t get me started on fans. Fans ruin everything for everyone.

  1. Americans insist on calling it “Football”. In a game that asks you to throw the ball, catch the ball, and run holding the ball, it amazes me that we still insist on calling it FOOTball. As for as the rest of the world is concerned – football means soccer. Shouldn’t we just hop on board? I mean the rest of the world uses the metric system and says soccer – we need to learn to just go with the flow.
  2. Live games suck. The last time I attended an American Football game I decided it would be my last. Ever. Maybe there are people out there that enjoy overpriced BudLite, and over priced nachos. Maybe there are people who don’t mind being sandwiched between the face painted dude and the overly aggressive woman who acts like the face painted dude. Maybe there are people who don’t mind huge crowds of grown frat guys. I saw one dude punch another dude because he was wearing the opposing teams colors. Seriously. Grow up.
  3. “Football is my passion. I love football”. Yeah, I had someone tell me that once. We’ve since divorced, but I still think about that statement when football season rolls around. I’ll tell you what I told him – If you really love football, if football is truly your passion, then stop watching other people do it. Get out there and play. But I guess playing actual football isn’t the same as playing it on your game system. Just admit it, you don’t love football. You love getting drunk while watching other people do athletic things.
  4. Bars stop being fun. Anyone who has tried to have a good time at a bar when a football game is on knows what I am talking about. Bars should have designated safe rooms (panic rooms!) for people who are there to have a good time sans sports. And don’t tell me to just go to another bar. I’ve tried. I’ve been to many bars during football seasons and inevitably some asshole and his friends come in demanding to watch The Big Game. Go watch at home, asshole. Annoy your wife and family. They signed up for you, I didn’t.
  5. The “WE” factor. This irritates me to no end. Have you ever listened to someone talk about “Their” team? My team won. My team is going to the finals. It’s all “we” and “us” when the team in question is winning, but when the tide turns so does the language. It goes from WE to THEY real quick. WE won. THEY lost. The main point to understand here is that there really isn’t any “we”. No matter how much you love a team, your love and dedication won’t make you a part of the team. You are not playing. You are not winning. You are watching other men play and win and make money for doing it.
  6. The NFL is an EVIL corporation who lets their employees get sick and die. Seriously. Brain damage since the 1970’s and they don’t give a shit. They cover it up. They lie. You know, what they do every time one of the players hits a woman or kills someone. And yeah, it’s happened more than once. What other multimillion dollar company would not only allow it, but cover it up and encourage more? THE FUCKING EVIL NFL. Thats who. Read this awesome little article and learn more.

That’s all I’ll say on the matter. I don’t want to fight about it, and I certainly am not interested in hearing people defend football, or the watching of it. If that is how you want to spend your free time – go for it. Enjoy your crap beer and your foam cheese head. Just try to do it a little more politely. Just because the team you like is winning doesn’t give you the right to act a fool.

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31 thoughts on “Why I Hate Football Season

  1. Love it!! my three year old son and I are hiding in the living room right now we are not allowed to talk run laugh breath live life during university of alabama football season it is so damn stupid it is just a game!!!!! I f……. Hate it next year he is going to be removed from house or we will not be here anymore!

  2. GREAT Blog!! There is something definitely wrong in this country which emulates these “athletes” many of whom are overpaid thugs (Eric Hernandez, Mike Tyson, etc). How many people remember those who should really be idols such as the Nobel Prize winners? People who have spent their lives trying to make contributions to improve the lives of fellow human beings. What a better world this would be if schools spent more money on text books than sports equipment which is what they do now. These sports used to be games…just games for recreation in schools. Now – the parents act like a bunch of animals grooming their child for sports teams which they probably won’t make – and end up ruining their kid’s bodies with sports injuries. I could say alot more…but am sick to death of being forced to watch these games which I detest too. BORING – I’d rather see a good documentary!

  3. Great article/rant. A few years ago I was at a bar with my girl and another couple. Just trying to enjoy some wings and a beer. Since I’ve always hated football it didn’t occur to me it was Sunday mid game. So there we were. Surrounded by fat drunk loud mouth blabbering slobs of all varieties. the fat butch wearing the oversized jersey and sideways hat (borderline Down syndrome). Ugh just thinking about years later makes my blood boil. They were bumping our table screaming in our ears. Amongst other things. One got in my face demanding to know why we weren’t into the game. I’d had it. A year long court case ensued. Me unharmed. Them, broken noses, teeth knocked out extra. Police came and actually turned taped the area off as a crime scene . Hey football tards! Don’t scream at and touch the girl friend of a 300 lbs bodybuilder who’s been doing kickboxing since he could walk. Idiots!

  4. #1 We call it football because of its origins from rugby and soccer in which the ball could be kicked over a line to score points. Rules changed over the years but the name stuck. Guess you’ll have to get used to it.

    #2 I’ve been to only 1 live game – the power you feel from the cheering crowd is unreal. There are assholes in the stands at any sporting event – want to see real assholes in a live sports venue, go watch soccer in Europe or South America.

    #3 What’s wrong with people being passionate about it? Not everyone gets drunk and watches the game. Why would someone have to actually play the game to enjoyy? Maybe your ex found football to be more interesting than you. Hmmmm, wonder why.

    #4 Plain and simple, pick another time to go to the bar. Football games usually happen on Sunday, Thursday and Monday. This leaves you 4 other days during the week (unless it is a Saturday game). May be the people showing are single and enjoy going to a bar with friends, having a beer and food.

    #5 I totaly agree with this – I laugh when I hear people say “we won!”. Hmm, so how did their lazy ass win the game – lol.

    I just wonder why you feel the need to tell people how to act or behave – is their behavior REALLY going to have an impact on the way your life turns out?

    I bet your ex is happy that you aren’t around telling him how to behave!

    • Yet you felt the need to reply with derogatory comments. It’s not the passion of fans that is so objectionable but their need to swear, shout, scream and act in an intimidating, aggressive and unruly manner to show it. If fans were better behaved, polite and didn’t feel the need to get drunk at every game no-one would mind; this blog wouldn’t exist and your disrespectful and disgraceful comments would not be needed. You uphold the point of the blogger very successfully!

      • Not everyone behaves that way. You have associated drunk football fans as all football fans. There are rude obnoxious people all over the world. Go shopping on black Friday and you’ll see a bunch of asshole women but that doesn’t mean all blach Friday women shoppers are assholes. So to all the women that are divorced from their football husbands, maybe you just weren’t good enough in bed.

    • This is blog for people who do not like football. As a football fan you have no business ranting about how football is amazing here. You will only find people who disagree with you. You are using extremes as your rebuttal when at the end of the day almost every experience I have had involving football fans is less than pleasant. I don’t need to go to south America to witness fans more obnoxious than football fans than I have encountered. Saying that one thing is worse than the other does not negate the fact that the other is still really annoying! Lastly, people are allowed to have their opinions; this writer is not on a “pro” football site ranting about how football sucks. I’m sick of people always thinking that because it is their opinion then that makes it the right one. NO! That’s why their are menus in a restaurant. NOT EVERYONE NEEDS TO AGREE ON ONE THING!

      oh and “Maybe your ex found football to be more interesting than you. Hmmmm, wonder why.” – Congrats, you have just further confirmed my beliefs about football fans being rude and obnoxious! That was an extremely unnecessary and a hurtful thing to say.

  5. Love it!! I couldn’t have said it better myself. Especially about the bars and everything else you said. Finally I don’t feel like I’m alone in my thinking. Americans worship ” football” and like you said all of the male fans look like the side of a barn drinking their beers and screaming their big mouths off! Sickens me!

  6. Could not have said it better myself. I despise football, its capitalism at its best.oDo people not see what I see? Grown men chasing a ball in leggings? A ball? I hardly see the excitement, point, or Why anyone would want to spend a day watching that. It annoys me to no end. No I don’t care if whatever worshipped team lost. Not even a little

  7. I feel bad for people that watch football. They have been transformed and brainwashed by the media and corporate goons into pathetic, mindless drones.

    • I think the mindless ones are the ones watching “reality” shows like Snooki, Kardashians and piggy boo boo. Just because someone enjoys football or other sports doesn’t make them mindless.

  8. Then don’t watch it pussy. Not all football watchers not participate in football. I play football and I watch football everyday sunday. Why do I have a feeling you’re one of those people that love soccer and hate every sport that isn’t soccer. Yeah the players are risking concussions and other injuries, they also get payed millions of dollars and have top doctors on stand by. If they didn’t want to play football they wouldn’t want to be out there. You act like they’re being forced

    • My god was that difficult to read. Your ad hominem argument holds no water and is the “go to” for every football fan out there attempting to defend their obsession to people tired of having it screamed into their ears. Best of luck in your mediocre life dedicated to someone else’s success.

  9. Love it. I spend 40 hours a week at work with a guy who has a 15 year old son. The only thing I know about his kid is that he plays football, because that’s the only thing that gets talked about. Right now, as I type this, sports talk radio is on in the background. I used to be a casual fan. Now, football annoys me more than just about anything else. It’s mindless entertainment that makes lazy people feel like they’ve accomplished something.

  10. AMEN TO ALL OF THIS.
    AND YES, FOOTBALL FANS ARE MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY STUNTED.
    THEY KNOW MORE ABOUT OTHER MEN’S LIVES THAN THEY DO THEIR OWN.
    THEY ARE OBSESSED WITH OTHER MEN, YET TELL MEN WHO ARE NOT OBSESSED WITH OTHER MEN, THAT BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT OBSESSED WITH OTHER MEN THEN THEY MUST BE ‘GAY’.
    FOOTBALL IS BY FAR THE DUMBEST, LAZIEST SPORT EVER INVENTED.
    IT’S THE ONLY SPORT OUTSIDE OF SUMO WRESTLING WHERE OBESE PEOPLE ARE CONSIDERED ATHLETIC AND WHERE RUNNING 50 YARDS IS SOME BIG DEAL.
    I WAS A PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE SO PLEASE SPARE ALL THE DUMB COME BACKS.
    SPORTS ARE TO BE PLAYED, NOT TO BE WATCHED,
    KEEP LIVING VICARIOUSLY THRU OTHER MEN YOU PANSIES.

  11. Thank you for writing this! I FINALLY after 47 years made it through an ENTIRE season without having to see anyone watching football ball! I HATE football ball, football ball players, and most of all, Football ball fans.

    • 11minute game? Check your facts first. But I agree that total game time is long and that is why NFL and MLB are looking at ways to speed things up.
      Luckily there are hundreds of channels to choose from, so you atch other big wadtes if air time like “reality shows”, cooking shows and golf.

      • Don you seem quite butt hurt that people are calling football out for what it is.
        A homosexually undernoted, total waste of life.
        I am glad you feel superior to others because you invest your time, life and emotions into a sport which does NOTHING for you or society as a whole.
        And don’t even get me started on how utterly stupid that ‘sport’ is.
        I am sorry but no ‘sport’ stops as much as football and people can be fat and play it. right there, to me, no dice. Not a sport. Fat people have no business in athletic.
        Take baseball with you.
        Ever notice there are no fat hockey or soccer players? I mean even skiers are slim.
        Football is a fat lazy sport for fat lazy Americans to sit around and eat and get fatter while watching commercials about medications for lack of erections, depression and cheap car leases for cars you fat, worthless, sheep can’t even really afford.
        Watching TV period is awful, add football to the mix and you are truly catering to the bottom of the barrel.
        So who do you root for, Don? The guy who beats his wife, the guy who kills his dog the guy who rapes girls in bars or the one on drugs?
        You go Don! Seems like you have it all figured out.
        And no I have not watched T.V. since 2003 and yes I am a professional bodybuilder.
        So take it for what it is worth.
        I’m in the game Don, you are a sheep who sits back and watches.
        You are probably fat and sick as well, mentally and emotionally as well as physically.

      • Nice rant, too bad most of it made no sense at all but thanks for noting my superiority.
        I never knew I was superior to others but I’ll take your word for it.
        I don’t invest a lot of time in footbsll. I enjoy watching a game once in a while.
        Nice of you to categorize all players as wife beaters and rapists it shows your limited knowledge.
        So what, you are a professional bodybuilder. Nice to make an assumption I’m fat and lazy without you realizing I go hiking when I can.
        So sounds like you are the butt hurt one to make assumptions about folks and call them names.

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