Usually I am the first person to trumpet the words, “Last year sucked. This year will be way better.” But I can’t really claim that this year. I think 2011 was pretty darn good, and in the last two weeks of said year I find myself happier than I have been in a long time. I know the trend, the common response at the end of the year is to look back and take stock of what you have done, but I am not going to do that this year. Nope, I am going to resist the temptation to list all the crazy, (Cain, Gingrich, Bachmann, AND Perry all running – who left the doors of crazy town ajar?) amazing, (OWS, I actually completed NaNoWriMo) and downright absurd (Rebecca Black sings about days of the week and becomes famous) things that happened this year. Instead, I am going to jump in my time machine and look forward to 2012. Come with me!
Jan. 1, 2012 – I ring in the New Year while singing karaoke in Prague. I kiss my fella and raise a glass to toast the new year. I also look incredibly fabulous in a floor length purple Halston style gown.
Jan. 3, 2012 – I wake up groaning at 6:22am and head back to work after my winter break come screeching to a halt.
Jan.11, 2012 – It’s my Birthday! I go out to dinner with my friends, and see a movie.
Jan. 14, 2012 – My Birthday Party! Through a miracle, I find karaoke on this night and dedicate it to myself. I sing all night while consuming many cocktails, none of which I purchased for myself. And, I look incredible again.
Jan. 15, 2012 – I don’t leave the house. I stay in bed all day and watch movies to cure my hangover. My always sweet fella surprises me with Phó. I do not look incredible.
Jan. 20, 2012 – I remember that I vowed to read at least 60 books this year and stop playing Angry Birds.
Jan. 28, 2012 – The day I stop writing the year as “20112”
Feb.8 – I cook a birthday dinner for my man. He is happy and thinks I am rad. Later this week I will try to throw him an understated, adult Birthday party which quickly turns into a night of drinking and debauchery.
Feb. 14 – Valentine’s Day. I make a card for my guy and take him to the movies.
March 16 – I realize that my plan to wait out the New Year rush at the gym was a good one, but I could probably have gone back a month ago.
March 17 – I go back to the gym.
April 3 – The secret plot i am hatching for a new career is coming along smoothly and I start getting motivated.
April 27 – I find 100kc on the ground and do not look for the owner.
May 8 – I go to the park at Riegrovy Sady and read for three hours. It’s Spring in Prague, and therefore time to be out in the nature.
May 22 – I buy an outfit for the two weddings I will be attending next month.
June 12 – Leave for Cesky Krumlov!
June 13 – Attend Allie and Davey’s wedding with my guy. We have a great time, and I am surprised by seeing a slew of old friends. I sleep happy.
June 16 – Attend wedding number two in Prague!
July 27 – Summer Olympics begin
July 28 – I realize that I have little to no national pride and resume playing Angry Birds
August 4 – I land in the USA where I am on a road trip taste testing sandwiches across the country. (What?! It could happen…)
September 7 – I eat a sandwich that is so good it disrupts the space-time continuum. I blog about it, and then quickly delete the post out of pure selfishness.
September 27 – I wonder what I am still doing in America.
October 1 – I start planning my Halloween costume and vow it will be “dope”.
October 23 – I re think my “dope” Halloween costume when I notice that I haven’t done any shopping or planning for it. I decide to dig out that old French Maid outfit and that’s that.
October 31 – I end up going as a Zombie French Maid and feel less like a slutty 25-year-old in her underwear on Halloween.
November 1 – NaNoWriMo begins and I am off to a great start!
November 30 – I complete another consecutive National Novel Writing Month! <Streamers are thrown and I get a book deal>
December 2 – I start watching a bunch of “end of the world” movies to get tips on what not to do.
December 3 – I try to track down Nick Cage as he is obviously the only person who will survive the Mayan Apocalypse. I vow to become his accomplice and sassy side kick.
December 22 – The world didn’t end, but I am now friends with Nick Cage and feel all the better for it.
December 25 – Christmas Day! All is well and I am happy. I Skype with Nick and he sings “Deck the Halls” dressed up as Santa Claus for me.
December 31 – New Year’s Eve and I look incredible yet again. I vow to make THIS year count and no more procrastinating. Nick Cage just smiles and laughs, he knows me better than that.